INDIANA – Any adult will tell you it is taboo to discuss religion or politics. This is easy enough, so long as you do not parent or educate children.
I was unprepared when my six-year-old forcefully stated his personal political opinions in response to the television news playing in the crowded waiting room of his dentist’s office.
Maintaining the polite status quo is not an option for those raising and educating children. It is our responsibility to create a safe space for them to talk about whatever is on their mind and help them develop the skills to speak their minds thoughtfully and respectfully (when appropriate, of course).
But how?
- Start where they are. What do they know, what have they heard, and what questions do they have? This gives you the best starting point and allows you to correct misinformation and discuss the importance of where information comes from. Let them guide the conversations. This makes them feel safe and heard. When children feel heard by their adults, they develop trust and are more likely to share the hard things that arise in the future.
- Use simple and neutral explanations. Stick to the facts. While I hope my children grow up to share my beliefs, I know it is best for them to arrive at those beliefs independently, and their journey may include detours. Allow them the space to explore. Children learn best when trusted adults model their personal values and critical thinking rather than dictating.
- Validate their feelings. As parents, our desire to pave a smooth road for our children is strong. However, this is simply not feasible and does not create resilience. Reminding them that their feelings are valid gives them the space to process them and then the ability to think about their next steps.
- Explain processes rather than specifics. Educating children about the workings of government and democracy gives them a sense of empowerment. You can further empower them by helping them get involved by writing letters, attending local events, or even discussing issues with others (in appropriate settings, of course).
- Focus on values. Remind them that humans share the same values: autonomy and accountability, achievement and altruism, wealth, freedom, and fairness. However, we all prioritize these values differently, which results in our political differences. It is dismissive and harmful to believe opposing sides lack essential values.
- Model kindness, respect, and curiosity. When engaging those with differing views, encourage curiosity over persuading. Asking others about their different beliefs is a far more effective way of engaging. Preaching, on the other hand, often reinforces an opponent’s beliefs.
By following these steps, you can help your child learn to prioritize their values and discuss their thoughts and opinions calmly and respectfully. They need to learn to listen to others with curiosity when they have differing beliefs and opinions.
Natasha Goodge, MSW, LSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Harper Elementary School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 126 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 53,000 youth and families per year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.
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